Do Not Touch
by CluelessLover
Summary: Jacob runs into more than a bit of trouble when he gets lost on a road trip. Retarded, AU. Based on a story I heard as a kid.


Jacob whistled to himself as he drove down the road. Besides Forks and La Push, he hadn't really been anywhere at all. Today, he was gonna go somewhere. He was going to drive to Phoenix. It wasn't any fancy tourist place, but hey, for someone like Jacob who's practically stayed home all his life, it's a start.

It was getting dark out, but Jacob wasn't worried about that too much. He'd been out in the dark a lot.

He splashed through a muddy puddle and stepped down hard on the gas. The car suddenly swerved to the right, and crashed into some dirt and trees. Jacob thought he heard something break, so he left the car to make sure nothing was too badly damaged, although it wasn't likely that some dirt, trees, and fallen branches could seriously damage a car. But Jacob was a responsible person, he wasn't about to take any chances.

The car seemed to be leaning unnaturally on one corner, but it wasn't stuck in mud. The bottom of the back right tire was flat and lifeless on the ground. A fallen branch somehow managed to puncture a tire.

It's not like Jake was about to sit there and mope about it, so he decides to walk along the road, till he finds the nearest car repair store. He was not only _very _responsible, he was also _very _smart.*

It was very dark out, and Jacob still hadn't found a car repair shop yet. Neither had he seen another car. He hadn't seen any gas stations, either. Or any sign of civilization besides the road, period.

* * *

Jacob saw light coming from somewhere ahead, and it might have been a house, so he decided to keep walking.

The highway road turned to a small, concrete walkway, and, sure enough, there was a house up ahead.

The tiny clapboard house had light coming through its windows, so Jacob decided to knock.

A girl answered the door; she looked to be in her twenties. She was blonde, pale as a sheet, and had big, shiny amber-coloured eyes. "Hey, how can I help you?" She asked with a smile. Jacob gaped.

"I, uh, g-got lost on the- my car broke a tire- …and I was wondering if you c-could help me fix your nippl- I mean, I was wondering if you could, uh, help me fix my car."

The blonde girl smiled again. "It's really dark outside right now, so why don't you sleep in my house tonight, and I'll try to help you out tomorrow, okay?" Jacob nodded with his mouth wide open like an idiot.

"By the way, my name's Rosalie." The girl told him as they walked through her door.

Rosalie showed Jacob upstairs to a room where he could stay, and then she brought him downstairs, to the basement. There was a large, heavy-looking padlocked door. She turned the lock open, which was somewhat difficult for her.

Inside the room behind the oversized padlock, there was a large metal cage. A pair of menacing golden eyes watched Jacob suspiciously from behind the bars of the cage.

Rosalie's pretty face grew seriously as she turned to face Jacob. "Now, remember that you can make yourself at home here, but you must also remember that under absolutely no circumstances must you touch Emmett. The two both looked back at the cage with the oddly muscular/large man in it. "Why n-" Jacob wasn't sure if he wanted to know.

Rosalie lead him out of the basement and back upstairs. "Well, anyways, I'm going to sleep. Just remember not to touch Emmett." She warned Jacob. He nodded.

* * *

As soon as Jacob was absolutely sure that Rosalie was asleep, he crept downstairs to the basement. Luckily, he remembered the combination of the padlock. The padlocked door swung open with a loud, disturbing groan. The large man/thing that was apparently named Emmett stared at Jacob with suspicion in his eyes. Jacob crept forward slowly, on his toes. Very quietly.

He stuck a finger between the bars of the cage, and gently poked it. Emmett growled, but did nothing. Jacob giggled like a little girl. _There's nothing wrong with touching him._ Jacob thought. He reached his arm inside, and pushed Emmett's shoulder. Emmett's eyes narrowed and he growled once more, but in a more scary way. Jacob gigglesnorted. Emmett roared, tore open the bars of the cage, and stared down at Jacob with a deranged look in his eyes. Jacob made a run for it. He dashed out the door, and out of the basement. The huge man ran after him, getting closer and closer. Jacob ran out the door of the house, and sprinted down the walkway. Emmett kept chasing him.

Jacob ran all the way down the highway, until his legs were tired, but he kept running. He didn't wanna die. He got to a large, mostly empty parking lot, slowed down a bit, and noticed that Emmett was nowhere near him. Just in case Emmett was going to catch up, Jacob crawled into a nearby Jeep with the key still in the ignition, with some reason, and started it. If he gets charged for this, he could say that he stole the car in self-defense.

Jacob peered in the rearview mirror, and saw a dark, large shape moving towards him. He stepped down hard on the gas pedal, and the Jeep flew out the parking lot, and down the road. The dark, running shape got smaller and smaller, and Jacob sighed with relief.

Suddenly, Jacob heard something crash behind him. He turned his head to look, just in time to see the huge man crash through the back seat. Jacob gulped. He knew this was going to be the end of him.

Emmett growled loudly once more, and its/his huge hand reached out slowly to Jacob (to crush his skull or what?), who was frozen in fear.

The huge hand gripped Jacob's shoulder.

"Tag, you're it."


End file.
